Today’s napowrimo.net prompt is to translate a poem. Seeing as how the closest thing I have to poetry in a foreign language is my small-ish collection of Japanese albums, and I do have experience translating Japanese, I chose as my poem a song by Nav Katze.
Green Eye
Reflections in water, adrift on a moonlit night
Even the sounds of sleep cannot be heard
I open my eyes, embracing the darkness
so that your smile will not disappear
I am always watching over you
From atop the sky, I am watching
If you cast the spell on a moonlit night
You may forget sorrow and confusion
I am watching closely, keeping guard over the night
so that your sadness fades away
I am always shining upon you
From atop the sky, I am shining
I am always watching over you
From atop the sky, I am watching
The original Japanese lyrics, by Miwako Yamaguchi: 月夜にただよう 水の影 眠りの音さえ きこえない 君のほほえみが こわれないように 目を開けて 闇をつないでる いつも君を 見つめてる 空の上から 見つめてる 月夜に呪文を 唱えれば 迷いも憂いも 忘れそう 君の悲しみが 消えてゆくように 目をこらし 夜を見張ってる いつも君を 照らしてる 空の上から 照らしてる いつも君を 見つめてる 空の上から 見つめてる Transliteration, by me: Tsukiyo ni tadayou mizu no kage Nemuri no oto sae kikoenai Kimi no hohoemi ga kowarenai yō ni me wo kakete yami wo tsunaideru Itsu mo kimi wo mitsumeteru Sora no ue kara mitsumeteru Tsukiyo ni jumon wo tonaereba mayoi mo urei mo wasuresō Kimi no kanashimi ga kiete yuku yō ni me wo korashi yoru wo mihatteru Itsu mo kimi wo terashiteru Sora no ue kara terashiteru Itsu mo kimi wo mitsumeteru Sora no ue kara mitsumeteru
Notes:
• reflections — literally: ‘water shadows’
• embracing the darkness — literally: ‘connecting [with] the darkness’
• so that your smile will not disappear — literally: ‘so that your smile will not be broken’
I probably could have got away with translating so that your smile will not disappear as so that your smile will not fade away for consistency with the later reference to sadness fades away. However, the verbs are different, so I opted to maintain some sort of distinction.
Song: ‘Green Eye’
Words and music: 山口美和子 (Miwako Yamaguchi)
Artist: Nav Katze
Album: 新月 (Shingetsu)
Label: Roux (Victor Musical Industries)
Catalog number: VICL-255
Release date: 21 November 1991.
The album credits do not list the publishing information; based on the personnel listed, it is most likely Fujipacific Music.
(30 April 2016)
Most impressive – even if the original does hurt my eyes! I really like that literal translation of ‘reflections’ – it adds an extra poetic element.