One of a few poems I wrote while watching Ryuichi Sakamoto’s Playing the Piano 2022 streaming concert.

Maybe this is fear
not the terror we picture
and make into art
but the everyday moments of pause
two feet planted firmly together
shoelaces untied should we dare look down
the same routines in the same sequence
without variation
without another thought
the familiar
the comfortable
the picture in its frame
hanging on the wall
the only part of memory
that hasn’t been shuffled off

The map on my screen
tells me location
but gives no direction
I can follow the roads
but don’t know where I am
not really
A designated space
seems to fit me better
even as I cram more stuff in
than it can hold
I must make room in my room
so maybe I can try to picture
what should go there
and what should just go—
but I hate to let go of things
that have resale value
I can be sentimental
but that’s all in my head

And what of my confession
that has confessed nothing?
It can’t be accepted
I can’t be absolved
I can’t even stand
in my own defense
Is it so bad?
There’s no indecision to be made—
that I know I can do
I also know I can’t keep my screen
from getting smudged
or follow the stones
that have been removed
from the path

How long is a year without dreaming?
(I’m asking for a friend)

(10 December 2022; posted 22 December 2022)

Wishes sometimes have consequences is available to order from your favorite local bookstore.

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