On prompt (https://www.napowrimo.net/day-eight-10/) for what may just be the weirdest thing resembling a poem that I have ever written.
Life is a non sequitur.
The topic of debate today is Pablo Picasso,
but we’re not going to talk about that
or the art of parties.
Guernica is a poor example of quality footwear—
go ahead, fight me.
It lacks color, has no toebox,
its sole is inflexible and non-shock absorbent,
and no NBA player will ever endorse it.
Now, about that raincloud that ran the red light yesterday…
If you had twelve trained donuts and an unemployed sheepherder,
you’d soon have no donuts and an unemployed sheepherder
on a mad sugar rush.
That is undeniable conjecture, as certain as the purple and yellow light
from my new lava lamp, or the surprising loudness of the blender
I just bought but haven’t learned to use yet.
I wonder if any sugar-tripping sheepherders
have ever seen Guernica up close—and if they have,
I wonder if they felt every bump and pebble on the ground
as they walked around.
I also wonder: Do they wear wool socks to keep their feet warm?
Wouldn’t they be too scratchy?
If I may interrupt, Kevin—of course you know that rainclouds can’t drive cars.
And the light was never red yesterday—that intersection was completely dark.
You make a good point, mon petit chou—although suggesting the humble raincloud
can’t do something is awfully presumptive. I would ask: Does humiliating
local weather patterns make you feel like a big person? What would your mother
say if she could hear you right now?
But, Mister Professor, you overlook the fact that this is a kick-ass, exciting adventure.
What have you got against adventure?
Normally, I would be the king of digression and tangents, but we need to keep this thing moving. So…
If it were me in those wool socks, the itching
would drown out all other sounds until I could get in a good scratch.
Then again, I would never herd sheep.
That’s what drones and sheep dogs are for.
Although sheep dogs are incapable of reaching the altitude necessary
for proper aerial reconnaissance, and nobody’s going to hire
a neurotic sheep dog—not even to keep the unemployed sheepherder company.
He can do the job fine on his own—provided he lays off the donuts.
Otherwise, they might have to hire Picasso instead.
And after one or two seasons, half the sheep would have both eyes
on one side of their face…
(8 April 2023)
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