How to get Ben Affleck naked in 45 seconds (a poem)

No Ben Afflecks were harmed in the dream that led to this poem…

The illusory poet sits on a curb
somewhere near the school
with a clipboard and pen in hand

Mrs. Ellis, deep of voice, dignified
is talking to her kids
before the day starts

Ben Affleck in suit and tie
drops his kids off for the day

He’s a friendly sort
but suggests the poet doesn’t have a life
without children

And with every sentence
he loses another piece of clothing

He doesn’t take it off—
it just disappears
until he cops a squat
still wearing his jacket, shirt, and tie

As the assembly starts
the poet begins writing a poem
called How to get Ben Affleck naked in 45 seconds

Describing the illusory poet sitting on a curb
somewhere near the school
with a clipboard and pen in hand

and Mrs. Ellis, deep of voice, dignified
talking to her kids
before the day starts

Until suddenly the words
come out all wrong
menos tertiary mnmna

A trimline phone is within reach—
to call 911 or not?

Beyond the row of teachers
sitting in their plastic chairs
is sunlight

A clear path?

New words at the top of the page
match the poet’s intentions—
the crisis has passed

But
the poem called How to get Ben Affleck naked in 45 seconds
is lost

(3 February 2023)

Wishes sometimes have consequences is available to order from your favorite local bookstore.

Information about my other books can be found here.

Ordinary Average Thoughts