My Day 18 poem, based on the prompt at https://www.napowrimo.net/day-eighteen-8/.

I
I’m going to dismiss that one
out of hand

I am an unreliable narrator
and known to play catch-up
with my feelings

So any answer I come up with
has a fifty-fifty chance
of being right or wrong

And if you want details
the chances are
even smaller

II
My typical M.O.
is to determine what I don’t want
and avoid that

True, it’s not the best habit
so I’ve been trying to change

I’ve been the most successful
when it comes to deciding
which restaurant to go to

III
Part of the problem
is that something
is going to go wrong

That’s why I hate that question
about where I expect to be
five years from now

Because whatever I say
something will force me
to change my plans

It’s the same thing here

IV
You know, feelings are irrational
which makes them hard to trust

If I say one thing or another
is it because I really feel that way?

Or is it what I think I should say
because it will make me look better
or because it’s what I think you want to hear?

Or am I responding to something else
and trying to make myself feel better
instead of looking deeper?

V
Either way
I probably don’t have a ‘good’ reason
for my answer

The unreliable narrator thing
is sometimes a problem for me also

And sometimes—
whether they deceive, distract, distort, or disguise
or perform outright evasive maneuvers—
words aren’t the best way
to express feelings

(written 17 April 2022—posted 18 April 2022)

 

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