How to confuse your heart until it cannot decide whether or not it is broken (a poem)

1. Start driving in the direction of where you want to go, get lost along the way, wander aimlessly.

2. Think so loud you want to scream.

3. Decrescendo.

4. Leave a light on; don’t tell anyone you’re coming back.

5. Use a map, but only look at the other side.

6. Lie awake in pitch black until your eyes invent shadow.

7. Sweat until roses grow from your pores; refuse to prune.

8. Become a stranger to yourself; ignore your mother’s advice to never talk to strangers.

9. Secretly celebrate the fall of your new god.

10. Contemplate drowning; pour the water out into the sink.

(16 October 2019)

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