Frayed (a poem)

A long day. Only one poem, but an improvement on yesterday…

Is there another way to make the spark
if the first encounter isn’t enough?
Disappointment hovers so near the surface
I can hide it, but I know it’s still there
even as desire stretches me taut
and tendons fray

All the turmoil hidden thoughts can wreak
makes the fall all the more rough
I shield myself from the look on her face
the one nobody sees, but I know it’s there
until I wish I could spontaneously combust right there on the spot
before I give it away

Blood rushes to the skin over my cheeks
there’s no way to call it off
no way to escape this place
I wish I could be anywhere
anywhere this place is not
anywhere I don’t have to stay

But the choice is never that stark
more often than not, it’s too fucking tough
Wheels spin, but you run in place
under the heat and the stares
that tell you you’ve been caught
There’s no running away…

This is why I lose the spark
my thoughts get stuck in the rough
where they sink deeper and deeper in place
still avoiding the look that’s not there
as my face grows hot, shame stretches me taut
and tendons fray

(10 June 2016—posted June 11th)