Incomplete darkness (a poem)

Inspired by a line from an episode of Wings. (Yes, the NBC sitcom.)

The gut-ache     is an incessant wave
This room     can’t get dark enough
Sleep     is an escape     beyond my reach
even the blankets     have jumped over the edge
These dreams     have no continuity
Every hour     feels longer     than the last
The gut-ache     is an incessant wave
I’ve been ashamed     of my feelings
especially the ones     that scare me
and the ones     I don’t remember     because I drowned them
The glass in the sink     is the only evidence     of last night
except for the page     in the typewriter     filled with words I did not write
and a memory     of the refrigerator     at three a.m.
which explains     why all the iced coffee is gone     and I can’t sleep
But all I do is sleep     twenty-six minutes at a time
The gut-ache     is an incessant wave
It’s too hot     It’s too cold     It’s too hot     It’s too cold
The gut-ache     is an incessant wave
I’m ashamed     of my feelings     especially the ones     that scare me
and the ones     that keep coming back
and it’s two days later     than when this all started
The gut-ache     is an incessant wave
and I’m so tired     of sleeping

(10 December 2017)