I’m nowhere close to getting this one right—but the insight makes up for a lot…

I couldn’t wait to meet you
I wanted to tell you everything

I wanted you to know

I told you how I felt
before you could ask—
I had this feeling you were the one
and if we were going to have a life together
I wanted it to start now

The first time I kissed you
you asked me:

‘What was your purpose in doing that?’

But you let me stick around—
testing the waters
a little at a time
sharing moments—
and soon you came around

You overcame your doubts
and let me in

With you, I was unafraid
I didn’t have to hold anything back
I found strength
I never knew I had

With you, I was happy
We were happy

Then memory did me in
Memory steered me wrong

It was memory
that made me recoil
It was memory
from which I ran
It was memory
that extinguished everything

Not just everything we had
but everything I was
everything I’d become
everything I might have been

You were the difference

The time I was with you—
that was the dividing line

That was the last time I was on fire

(7 July 2017)