SaS (a poem)

I was in editing mode today, but I finished this just before midnight.

I love in secrecy and silence

These should be the two places
where I feel safest

instead I suspect everything I feel
must be visible on my face
from the yearning in my eyes
to the blank expression I try to maintain
so she won’t suspect a thing

while I mentally compare
all the features that make her
the model beyond my reach
and conclude that I’m not
worth the upgrade

I’ve been thinking

I love in secrecy and silence
where the blankets are cozy
the shadows know the right things to say
and the words running around in my head
have all the time they need
to organise themselves the way they want

I hope I’ll have answers in the morning
instead I get a night
of impossible dreams I won’t understand
until the secret has withered and died

leaving silence

(17  June 2019—posted June 18)

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