National Poetry Writing Month 2018, Day 1

For a very early start on day 1, I have ostensibly used the prompt from—to ‘write a poem that is based on a secret shame, or a secret pleasure.’ I would not necessarily refer to depression as ‘a secret shame’, but neither is it something I like to share much about on those days when it seems worse. Anyway…

My secret day

I am skipping the sunshine today
I simply don’t have the energy to run outside and play
It’s easier to get under the covers and stay
Put on a movie or two and drift, drift away
When I’m asleep I don’t have to come up with things to say
On days like this there’s really no other way

I’m so, so tired of hearing about drama and bad news
Opposing demagogues and their opposing views
I’d rather turn them all off than force myself to choose
Not every matter is a choice of win or lose
I’ve got my own problems—I can’t afford taxes or dues
It’s easier to be a recluse

But silence is hard—I think way too much
And it’s all ‘what if’ and ‘what should I’ and ‘I can’t’ and such

And how, I wonder, has it come to this?
There’s so much that I miss

I’m so tired of life and getting nowhere all the time
I hate being so stuck I’ve resorted to rhymes

Fuck it—it’s time to say good night
Maybe in the morning I’ll wake up and it’ll be all right


(1 April 2018)

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