December 6th (a poem)

So cold today…

Tonight I yield to the cold
surrendering to layers of blankets
building up body heat
over a course of hours
now and then glancing at the time
which I hold in disregard
as I follow one trail after another
never deciding on one to take

Atmos and atmospheres
incandescent light banished
to a corner
coerced into lighting the entire room
I, under layers of blankets
building up body heat
am too wary of winter
to release it from its sorrow

A crinkling sound
I think I hear someone enter—
it is only my arm
brushing against a sack
resting next to me on the sofa
It’s no protection against the cold
but the books inside are safe
unblemished, unconcerned

The fireplace has not known flame
in the five years I’ve here
it houses the space between the winter chill approaching
and the pocket of warmth, perhaps nine feet square
held in beneath layers of blankets
barely self-sustaining
entirely separate
in spite of its good intentions

Tonight I am not empty of feelings
I am yielding to their wishes
to keep a certain distance
perhaps more out of irritation than out of respect
We have a healthy disregard for each other
not unlike my relationship with time
as I follow one trail after another
never deciding on one to take

(6 December 2018)


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