記念日たち [kinenbitachi] (Anniversaries) (a poem)

August 24 approaches…

I’m aware of the date
but feel the day of the week more

because after Friday—the day he died
in the morning, in his sleep

comes Saturday—the day she died
one year later
adrift in a morphine haze
while show tunes played softly
on the radio next to her hospital bed

And I remember that falling sensation
I felt in my stomach

compounded by the sensation of time, compressed
tempered by relief at the end of suffering

hers and mine

As numb as I wanted to be
at that moment
there was so much to do

and I had to be the one to do it

I buried my father’s ashes
next to his grandmother
on a Wednesday afternoon

a final act of service
before making the drive back home

My mother’s ashes
are still here

It’s a little complicated

(20 August 2021)

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